So my mother has seen how I've gotten out of a severe depressive episode I had last year, and I told her (truly believe in this) that MDMA helped me out a lot. She became interested in trying it with me. So I agreed.

I'm a psychologist and a psychonaut, done my fair share of psychodelics and empathogens and I understand their psychotherapeutical potential (both in theory and first hand). She has only tried weed with me thrice, many years ago. Life was very harsh on her, she has survived a terrible cancer, but lost a lot in life (marriage, career, home), so she has GAD and is wrapped in fears and resentments, among other things. Sad story.

With this I hope for 2 things:

1. Mend our relationship. It's a long story, but ever since I was 14 (I am 32 now) I have been suppressing my love towards her which took a turn for worse when I have practically started despising her. For the last several years I've been trying to fix this, and have managed to completely forgive her everything and develop a deep cognitive understanding for her personality/behavior/patterns. But not compassion and empathy, unfortunately. My emotions towards her are still suppressed and literally frozen somewhere deep within me and I can't work it out - I'm stuck. What gets struggling relationships unstuck? Tbh, I can't think of another solution other than MDMA at this point. This might be the chance to liberate my love for my wonderful mother who gave everything for me, and move things forward from cognitive to emotional level at last.
2. Help her overcome negativity. Since euphoria and happiness are pretty much forced on MDMA, and it would be such a serotonin novelty for her tortured mind, I really hope it will open up a totally different perception of things for her, and make her release all this tension built up over many years. She is a hedonistic person but has definitively not been happy for quite a while because of pathological self-rejection. I'm deeply hopeful that this negative self-image can take some twist while rolling as MDMA actually does make us feel better about almost everything, including ourselves. She truly needs a new angle of seeing things and this should come to a rescue! At least, it can be first of many steps to follow towards healing of her mind, heart and soul - as it was for me!

We'll do it during daytime, in a garden, with some chill Deep Disco music, maybe throw a barbeque or what not. I'll probably go for one 160mg dose. She's malnourished and a bit fragile in health, so I thought of giving her a dose not larger than 100mg for the first time. But I'd need your opinion on whether that dose would pass the threshold for the above mentioned effects to take place? I'd really love her to feel that serotonin rush and euphoria but not get overwhelmed.

Thanks a lot and wish us good luck! <3