Hi, I (F 29) took MDMA for the first time recently and it was an incredible experience. Sadly my husband couldn’t stop bringing this other girl into our conversations. At one point I got very upset (as upset as you can get while high on extasy) and I said “My love, we are experiencing something absolutely fantastic together, just you and me, can we please leave Francesca out of it? Can we please just be the two of us?” He forgot in 10 min and brought the “Francesca” subject back again. He was now telling me how important it is for him that we get along, and was asking me to promise I’ll go out with her and meet her (even though we already met! Which I found very odd) At one point he texted her himself! At midnight! Have I mentioned he is her boss? I had suspected them having an affair for a while, but he offered an explanation for all the inconsistencies (even though some very weak). I also met the girl and she clearly finds my husband attractive (touches his hand in front of me, can’t stop doing the lip-eye gaze, unconsciously turns to face him when he moves about, twisting hair in finger, revealing neck by pushing hair back for him etc - all of these observations have been made while in the same room with her boyfriend and me, a few months ago) Regardless, I’d like to know if his fixation on this girl while on MDMA means something, or if I should just drop it as it’s normal to fixate on a person (that’s what he said it happened, as he’s done it before; he said that often you fixate on an idea, subject or person). Did this ever happen to you while high on MDMA? Did you fixate on someone who wasn’t even there? I’ve only done it once, but it seemed it had a different effect on me. The world vanished, and it was just the two of us, so much love and so much pleasure and joy! It was wonderful! But he seemed… stressed? He wasn’t even smiling much. Isn’t it odd? And he seemed to lose grasp on reality, while I was very lucid and rational still. To be fair, he also drank a fair amount of alcohol, I didn’t. Another question would be: Is it possible that I was actually bringing her up without being aware? I mean the first few times it was definitely not me! But after a while, I’m not so sure anymore… Any insight would be helpful. Thank you very much!

UPDATE: Yes, he does want a 3some. We discussed it during our trip as well, and I asked if he’d like Francesca to be our 3rd. He said definitely not, because he doesn’t find her attractive, but he would like me to be friends with her, go out with her, because she is bi and has a lot of hot bi friends, and I might find someone I like to join us.

Also, I recently realised I am bi myself and my husband seemed to feel a but threatened by it. When drunk he’d say that he’s afraid I might leave him for a woman, or cheat with a woman. Is it possible that he was not actually talking about her because she is important to him, but because it’s important to him that I explore this side of my sexuality?