I was once in a relationship with a guy who is either an ISFP or ISTP. We dated when I was in eleventh grade, from December 2021-March 2022 (it was a long time ago, and it feels like it now.) I will be honest here and admit that when I learned he had dated a girl who I knew was not conventionally attractive (I am not conventionally attractive, and dealt with body dysmorphia in tenth grade due to some peers of mine, including a former crush, emphasizing this) I started talking to him after he mentioned he was feeling suicidal on his stories in part because coming back from quarantine having dealt with such bad body dysmorphia, I knew that I wanted a boyfriend and suspected that he might be more open to taking me out since he’d had strong feelings for a girl who most wouldn’t think of as conventionally attractive. I was right. We dated, and I regret the relationship now. Here were a few problems: 1) He disrespected my sexual boundaries multiple times. I didn’t leave because of it, but I should have. 2) His mental health was honestly so bad that I think it negatively impacted mine. He also didn’t want to see a therapist. 3) I wanted him to text me more often (my former therapist suggested I may benefit from dating an extrovert. I would want to really feel like my partner was interested - not to an obsessive extent, but idk, knowing - knowing - they like how I look, that we really do have a future together, feeling like they prioritize me.) 4) Communication styles and needs differed. He once described me as sometimes seeming “cold,” maybe he would have benefitted from a partner who had a different love language, or perhaps my resentment toward him was building up and this is what was making it seem that way. But we also just had a different communication style. I created a document around communication and always wanted to create documents of agreements when we were dating if an issue arose. I don’t know, to be honest, how different I’d be now. I like to think that I’d put up with less.

I’m an ISFJ, likely an enneagram 6w5 but could be an unhealthy 9w1. I recall and admit that, although I shouldn’t have said this so directly, I once advised my ex to walk with his head high so that people would respect him more. I was also once upset/disappointed when he didn’t try to go back and get his money back after he ordered food for us and the cashier gave him the wrong thing. I don’t know whether or not I’ve changed by now.

I recall he once suggested that he was against abortion due to it “killing the child” which caused some conflict between us, although I seem to recall that his mother, who is likely an xSFJ 2w3, had similar beliefs.

His former partner (xSFP, likely ESFP as someone who interacted with her) had broken up with him (well, moved states without telling him) because he “did something” (he never specified what, but later on described the relationship as having been toxic. This was the relationship he had been suicidal over, and I didn’t understand it because the girl veered too far away from what I think of as being average facially.) I initially assumed she had overreacted, but as someone who actually dated him, I think I understand.

I recall that a former acquaintance suggested that he “seemed weird” when she met him (and honestly, he was weird. He had an IEP and was taking pre algebra in 11th grade, although he wasn’t unintelligent - he wasn’t “smart,” but I think he was actually pretty average. He did seem like he was able to explain things, although he still has his music account and I don’t get the impression that he’s going to prove to be terribly successful post high school even though you never know, I don’t know whether or not he’s taking his community college courses seriously and I recall he once suggested he didn’t think he’d go to college when we were dating. He has posted stories wherein he seems to actually be smoking cigarettes.)

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