As we all know, our automated sentries and guard dogs are programmed to pro actively defend democracy. They are amazing and I love them, as all children of Liberty do

Yet, I have seen some helldivers complain that they are being killed by these automated Warriors of Freedom. While I can understand their frustrations, I disagree with their complaints

If you were not thinking a socialist thought, the Guard Dogs and sentries wouldn't kill you. Sure, you may state that the mortar is indiscriminate and killed you when you were fighting bugs. But I must ask helldiver, why were you so close to the bugs?

Could it be those commy fucks sensed a shift in your thoughts and were prepared to further indoctrinate you? Rather than letting you disgrace yourself and your planet, the mortar kindly delivered liberty to your skull

Perhaps the Guard Dog felt you thinking "Hmm, why doesn't everyone on Super Earth get these Stims if they can cure any wound?" Guard Dog knows that such thoughts are left to the Democratically Elected President, and thus freed your body from the tyranny of your head

I even saw a comic panel where a Guard dog shot a laser at death itself. Because we are all equal in death, which is the most communist shit I've ever heard, so Guard dog attempted to kill death. Death is a confirmed communist and must be stopped, as our best bou showed