My partner and I have been together 4 years. Sex has been an issue bc I am more interested in sex than he is. I would prefer to have sex once or twice a week and he seems to prefer once every 2-4 months.

This has been a sore spot for a long time and we’ve done a lot to try and work on it.

A few days ago we had sex after a 4 month gap. His initiation (I never initiate bc I don’t want to pressure him). We had had a great day together so he was in a good mood. I am curious though if he knows what it was that led to his interest. We’ve had other great days together over the 4 months that didn’t lead to sex.

Would it be useful to inquire what allowed him to feel that sexual interest? If there are things I could do or situations I could help create that would allow him to be more interested I would gladly do it. At the same time I don’t want to put his sexuality under a microscope as I imagine that could be stressful.

Would appreciate any advice.