Anyone else feel like their libido is like a gas tank that has to be full to a certain level before they want to have sex?

My partner says it’s like that for him. I’ve asked if there’s anything I can do to help fill it up. He says yes but can’t tell me what to do. He does say that discussing our sex life or really anything negative with the relationship will drain the tank.

He also told me tonight that he feels like I’ve “given up” and I seem uninterested in the relationship or sex. I explained that after years of rejection I decided to stop having any expectations and stopped trying to initiate anything. He said he preferred to initiate and that any discussion of possibly having sex at a future time was stressful.

He also said that the last time we had sex (about 3 months ago) I seemed disinterested and surprised. Well I was surprised I told him…bc it came out of nowhere. I guess in hindsight I wasn’t really in the mood and probably should have said no…but it’s such a rare occurrence I didn’t want to miss it.

I told him that at this point the topic of sex just makes me feel anxious and rejected. I want to not feel that way anymore but I’m not sure how to get there. I used to love sex but after so much rejection sex just makes me sad.