I'm f hl 30s with m ll partner 30s. I don't know if he's truly LL (he watches porn frequently)...but he's LL for me at least. We have sex like once every 2-3 months.

We are seeing a sex therapist to help...but it's a very slow process. She's asked us to put a hold on the sex talks for now bc she wants us to focus on trust and intimacy that has sort of been damaged over the years by me trying to "fix" the sex piece

We have a couples session coming up and I'm also going to do a one on one session with her soon for some guidance on how I can...deal with everything.

I think what I want to know is...what do you wish your hl partner did differently?

I've tried to draw things out of him over the years. Maybe I'm not his physical type. Maybe he wants me to lose weight. Maybe he has a kink he won't share. Maybe I'm not good in bed. So many thoughts. He always tells me everything is fine and hes attracted to me but just not that into sex. But it's hard to not feel deflated or like there's something wrong with me. My last relationship was a db too so I definitely feel like I'm the problem. Maybe I'm just inherently unsexy....

Is there something I can do to help him be honest? I'm so worried he's settling for me bc he really wants a partner and figures hed rather have a partner that he's not attracted to than be single. But if that's what he's doing I think I desert to know.

What do you wish your party had done to make this all easier?