I am seeing too many people, mostly men, trying to shut down justified critiques of SK and Nigerian culture under the guise of “racism”. Most of the critiques are coming from African or black American women who know first hand what it is like to navigate dating people from this culture. No one was bringing up SK’s comments on polygamy until AFTER he cheated. Yes there are people who will take the critiques of Nigerian culture and generalize them in a xenophobic way but that is not on the women sharing their genuine experiences. I see this pushback as a unique form of racism aimed at black and brown women because if SK was a FLDS Mormon I don’t imagine people would be telling white Morman women they can’t call out FLDS culture.

Of course SK’s culture impacts his views on dating. If having more than one female sexual parter was the norm just one generation ago it could be really hard to be in a monogamous relationship. It’s already hard for people who don’t come from polygamous backgrounds.

Also to the people who are saying that Reddit and other forms of western platforms are not the “right place” for women of color to have this discussion, where should we go then? Almost all western media platforms are mostly white so should women of color just never discuss the mistreatment they receive publicly? Nigerian American women and west African women in general are allowed to vent their frustrations anywhere they want to just like everyone else.