I talked about this in another thread but wanted to expand on some thoughts. Being first generation / kids of immigrants certainly comes with a lot of issues - you’re stuck between two vastly different cultural identities and you’re dealing with the pressures of fitting into crowds that don’t understand your background while trying to maintain your connection to your family and culture. The latter isn’t necessarily a choice at first.

As a kid you’re more or less forced to go to functions and be with a larger crowd of people coming from similar situations. The immigrant parents see this community as a way to not only have a bit of a safety net (gatherings are a way to network, help make new friends, etc) but as an anchor back to the homeland and to your religion. At least for me growing up in suburban Chicago in the 80s and 90s, temple functions were a mix of food, prayer, catching up, and for me making friends who were in similar setups as myself - white neighborhoods, white friends, white, well everything. This certainly isn’t the story for everyone but if you know, you know.

With that came our parents trying to get us closer to our culture. We grew up with Apu. They grew up with Amitabh. And therein lied some of the problem. Bollywood wasn’t taken seriously and we had a part in making fun of it because we wanted to feel closer to our non-Indian friends and wanted to fit in. Anyone who tells you different is probably lying. Tastes certainly change as you grow older and I can definitely appreciate Bollywood for what it is. It’s the same deal with food. I wasn’t taking theplas to school and instead took PBnJ, because the smell wasn’t something I explain, and if / when I did bring Indian food, the jokes came. Who wants to deal with it? What kid would want to have to deal with a bunch of morons who were unwilling to try and understand your culture? It’s just easier to fit in.

But here’s the thing. We were never taught to hate ourselves from our own. Did we look in the mirror some days and say man it’d be easier if I was white? Or black for that matter? Or just not brown? Just to fit in? Did we internalize some of this racism back then? Certainly. Did it come from a place of seeing whites as racially superior? I can’t say. It was more “fitting in with who’s popular” at that point.

But here’s the main point of all of this - there comes a point when you choose to accept who you are as an individual and who you are in relation to your culture and upbringing. I can’t say for sure if Shake faced any hardships growing up - was he beat up for being brown? Was he bullied or made to feel less than? Dunno. But at some point, he chose to reject certain parts of his culture, and his behavior towards women, but then to Deeps as we got further into the season showcased some really interesting facets to his personality. The arrogance and outward spite to her physical appearance definitely showcased his fuckboiness to him, and his inability to find attraction in someone of the same background and ethnicity went beyond any type of internalized racism as far as I could tell. He just projected his hatred of himself onto Deeps.

He was by no means in shape himself, whereas she had actually transformed herself

He’s got graying hair whereas she still looks quite young.

He’s tried to surround himself with blonde women and has exoticized himself - and maybe she has to an extent. However there’s something to be said about Indian women dating outside of their race because of people like shake. Is that the case for deeps? Unsure.

He’s a vet, not a medical doctor. Now this isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with being a vet at all. This is more in the context of being in the medial field as an Indian and the stigma that may come with not being a medical doctor that works on humans. It’s quite frankly seen as less than. It’s a stupid boomer holdover, but I feel like he’s felt that. Maybe he’s very successful at it, but maybe it still makes him have a chip on his shoulder.

I did notice a few subtle things however that make me indicate he’s still got this connection to his culture. The red string on his right hand (moli). You get that from a priest at a temple or during a puja. The gold rings too. It’s different from what Jarrett was wearing. Again, if you know you know kinda thing.

He’s stuck in a position of his own doing. He wants to blend in with a crowd he thinks is cooler than him by going after blondes on IG and trying to play a role he things he’s made for himself, but the issue is it just comes off as him hating himself more than him saying someone else is racially superior to him. He’s had a choice to go down this road himself and the external factors leading to it I would wager don’t outweigh his own confused mental state.

Either way he’s a gigantic fuckstick and needs to shut the hell up.