The Chelsea Jimmy dynamic is painful. She reminds reminds me of myself and and my anxious attachment style. She’s going to push him away if she keeps this up.

I have definitely found myself in that loop of “do you love me? Are you sure?”

During this most recent episode, I found myself using it as practice for “how to deal with insecurity in a relationship.” Here’s where I think she went wrong/what she should have done. This is also advice I wish someone had given me.

1) tell Jimmy you are insecure about your looks especially compared to the other woman he was seeing. He’s going to see her anyway…why not just be vulnerable and say “hey - I’m not a size 2 or an Instagram model and I’m insecure bc the other girl is…and I’m worried you’re going to regret your decision”

2) she should not have called out AD’s body. I get it that she was trying to diffuse a tense moment…but…it was just tense between the two of them. Sometimes you have to sit in an uncomfortable feeling and let it pass.

Side note: hilarious to watch the bartenders in the background clearly NOT looking at AD while everyone was talking about her body.

Another side note: there’s such a fine line between enjoying attention and being objectified. AD wore that dress bc she wanted attention. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok to call it out.

3) Chelsea needs to back off. I have so many memories in prior relationships when I just knew something was bothering my partner. And I could not let it go. I basically chased them down to tell me what was wrong…and eventually they snapped and got mad at me for being overbearing…which confirmed my belief that they were mad at me. You have to take someone at their word. Just because you don’t feel like their word is real (or it feels “odd” like she kept saying)….they don’t owe you that transparency in the moment. Some people are not always aware of their own thoughts and feelings which is frustrating to someone who is intuitive about that sort of thing. Now…this is different than lying about facts.

In this situation she was looking for him to fix her feelings. And that is not his job. He could have done a better job empathizing and apologizing for how she felt…but that’s not the same thing as saying he did anything wrong. (Note - his interactions and focus on AD was not great).

In that moment she needs to ask herself “what is it I want him to do/say?” He did most of the things he should have done…and she still wasn’t happy. This is clear evidence that she needs to work on moderating her own emotions. A partner is not there to make sure you are 100% happy all the time. I think that is her expectation and she’s not going to have a healthy relationship until she takes responsibility for her own emotions, her anxiety, and her codependent tendencies.