Forgive me if this post is a mess!

For context: my partner and I met in January 2021 through a mutual kinda-friend. After being told that said kinda-friend shipped us (and not without any romantic thoughts towards him on my end), we began dating in April 2021. We've sent pictures of each other, talked about intimate things, ans we voice chat on a regular basis. As of right now, we plan to meet in Baltimore during autumn for no less than a week.

I feel it's important to know that I come from a toxic household with trauma, because I have a tendency towards being abit hyper-independent due to it. For example, I'm averse to the idea of him covering the majority of associated costs of our travel despite him having a much better paying and stable job. I also fear the "what if something happens and I'm on my own in a completely new environment", but also hold the belief of "regardless, I'm going to have to move out soon".

I know there isn't necessarily a hard-and-fast rule regarding how long an LDR should go on before the question of closing the distance comes up. We agreed before now that we'd be together for a year at minimum before meeting. By autumn, it'd be a year. And we're both quite open about wanting to get away from our families.

I guess I want outsider perspectives? I suck at trusting myself, and my brain keeps throwing out "what if something happens to separate you" or "what if it doesn't work out" or "how are you going to adjust to being on your own". I've seen posts where as soon as the couple met, proposals were happening, but those people seemed to be financially stable on both ends. Or, at least enough to take such a big risk. I'm worried I'm doing this for the wrong reason, even though I love this man and fantasize about living with him all the time.

I greatly appreciate it in advance!