hello, all;

met someone last year [f/25] who turned out fucking incredible. the only issue is, she lives six hours away (drive). since then, we gone back & forth to each other. seen her 7 or 8 times this year already? i haven’t felt this way about anybody else.

with her, i would do the long distance thing. however, as much as i would like to fight for it, i somehow can’t look past the logic side of it.

before i met her, i was always interested in teaching overseas for a bit. i’ve told her that & she knew that coming in. well, i’m about to graduate soon (spring 19) & i’m going to try my best to do so. if not, i plan on staying where i’m at because i’ll have a job immediately & the cost of living isn’t too high. i don’t plan on leaving my state for another couple of years (that is, if i’m able to find an opportunity overseas).

on her end, she has at least two more years of school left which is completely fine. i support her in every way.

she asked me what my opinion is on LDR & i told her that i would do so for her; however, i don’t see a goal in sight. we both knew that the deeper we were getting ourselves in, the much more painful it was going to be.

she just visited me a couple of days ago & we talked about it our last night together which resulted in crying. neither of us wants this to end, but i really don’t know how much we go longer considering the things i want to do post graduation.

i’m usually not scared of life in general, but for whatever reason the amount of uncertainly that’s coming, i ran from it & felt like we had to end it.

since then, i feel like i’m making a big fucking mistake. am i? she’s absolutely wonderful to me.

what if by doing this, i never find somebody like that again? has any of you guys experience/gone through something similar? & how did it end up turning out?