My girlfriend broke up with me around two weeks ago. We had been long distance for a while, then were in the same city for around 3 months before I had to leave the country for graduate studies. She had been cheating on me for a little more than a month, living with the 'other girlfriend'. We were both unaware of the other.

I found out after I moved and she called by accident, I heard them fighting. I called the other girl and we spoke, and that's when she confessed. She immediately asked me to forgive her and take me back. I thought about it for a while and told her that I'm willing to give it another try. She said the same for a few days. She abruptly called me one night and told me that she didn't want to be long distance even though she loved me very much. She said that she'd be taking space from me and the other girl too, and looking to move out. However I know from their social media (which I have since then unfollowed for my peace of mind) that they are still behaving like they're even though she said that they are being 'without labels'.

She told me that she felt that I'd abandoned her and was being selfish for leaving the country, that she felt alone and that she couldn't talk to me about it,and the other girl was there for her so she took that comfort. And the other girl was there for her when I wasn't. I know she did a terrible thing by cheating on both of us and lying to us for so long, but I can't shake the feeling of guilt for choosing to leave for my studies. I also couldn't be there for her at her lowest. On the night I found out, after talking for a few hours (fighting,with the other girl shouting in the background), I told her that I need to take a break and get something to eat, and that she should eat. I went to eat and saw that she wasn't active on chat- so I went to sleep after telling her to contact me when she saw the message (there's about a 9 hour time difference between us). I woke up to her call telling me she'd overdosed on pills, and she wished that I'd been there on the phone with her at least at that time. It felt really bad that I hadn't done that. I can't shake that feeling of guilt and loss...

Long distance requires that both people are able to function well alone.