You know when you make a mistake and it comes back to haunt you? Yea.
I [20F] had a toxic, emotionally abusive friendship with someone from school in 2013. My LDR had just started and I wasn't coping well. I made this friend and latched on to him. At first it was platonic, but then he tried to convince me to break up with my SO [20M] and be with him. I cared about this friend a lot, and it spiraled out of my control.
When things got too bad with this friend I cut it off completely and he told my SO everything. It was horrible. But my SO forgave me and we tried to move on. This was a year ago.
My SO has been having second thoughts and said he isn't sure if he wants to keep doing this anymore. He's lost his passion for this relationship. I made so many changes in the last year (aka grew up) and he said that I shouldn't change for a relationship because that isn't healthy. To put it into perspective, I stopped going to parties and drunk texting and drunk tweeting. I learned how to be independent and not rely on having a person around d me at all times.

I fucked up bad. This guy is the love of my life. He closes on a house at the end of the month and I graduate in a year.... but now I am afraid of tomorrow. I feel so immensely guilty.

To those of you whose SOs have gone behind your back and hurt you, I am so sorry. To those of you whose SOs couldn't handle the distance, I am so sorry. This emptiness and isolation that I feel is the most damning thing I will ever experience in my life. To know that I am the reason that my relationship with a wonderful man may fail is the most disheartening feeling I will ever experience.
I am a failure and I so sorry.