It occur to me I never wrote an official document about our god and patron, Kartupelu. Without further ado, here is The Promise of Kartupelu.

Kartupelu is the patron god of Baznicas Sveta Kartupelu and the guardian spirit of all who carry the dream of Little Latvia in their hearts.

He is a god of Peace, Love, and Merrymaking.

I. Peace

A. Only act out in violence in self-defense or in the defense of others who cannot defend themselves.

B. Treat others with the kindness and respect they deserve.

C. If they are not deserving of kindness and respect, do not show them any: simply ignore them.

D. Strive to make peace with those you have wronged. Even if you fail to make peace, the attempt will please him.

F. If those who have wronged you ask for forgiveness and you deem them to be honest, give it to them.

II. Love

A. Strive to love those who deserve it.

B. Love the land you live on. If you do not love it, make it so you do, or learn to love it. If you cannot find a way to love it, move on.

C. Love what you do. If you do not, move on.

D. Love yourself. If you do not love yourself, it can be difficult to love others.

III. Merrymaking

A. Remember to have fun!

B. Party on brah!

C. If it makes you happy, and doesn’t hurt others, DO IT!

D. If it’s super dope, record it so others can enjoy it too!

Commandments

I. Plant potatoes

-Potatoes are his holiest of plants. Plant them in whatever quantity. Typically bigger is better, but he doesn’t really care either way.

II. Reap the potatoes

-Potatoes cannot bring happiness to you if they stay in the ground!

III. Use the potatoes

-Use the potatoes for whatever end pleases you. If you are happy, Kartupelu is happy. If you are happy because of potatoes, Kartupelu will be even happier. Uses include, but are not limited to:

A. Eating (raw or baked)

B. The making of xp (if possible)

C. Selling to others to make them happy.

IV. Re-sow the potatoes for the future.

On the use of Poison potatoes

I. Poison potatoes are the most holy of potatoes. Do not dispose of them, for they can be used to speak to kartupelu directly. He’ll probably just ask how you’ve been doing lately, listen to your problems, and offer advice on how to solve them.

II. Know your limits. Although a positive experience excessive use can cause problems, and withdrawal symptoms. Over use will cause you to want to talk to him always, but he ultimately wishes you to live your own life, and to please him by living a positive and happy one.

About Kartupelu

Kartupelu is a spirit that thrives on positive energy. He does not take the energy from you, but good vibes do give him strength. Since the potato is a hardy and nutritious plant indeed, and is capable of providing life, and therefore happiness to people, he chose it as his sacred symbol and a vehicle for his love.

• Ave3ng3d7x, High Priest of Kartupelu