Alright gents (and i suppose this could potentially apply to women):

It's time to trim down under. We're not shaving completely. Just a trim- most likely w/ a good 'ol cordless electric trimmer. This will leave quite a mess. We DON'T want to do it in the shower and clog the drain with hair, so let's explore another option.

Everybody's got a Wal-mart grocery sack or something comparable lying around, so when it's time for some maintenance or a lil hedging, grab one of those fuggers. K. Strip naked now and put the grocery bag on the floor. Now just insert one leg in each of the handles and slide it up, almost like a diaper, to the desired height. Trim away and the bag will catch virtually all the hairs.

It feels a little goofy but hey- you can't beat that convenience.

You're welcome.

Edit: Due to the overwhelming amount of "over the toilet trimmers", can any plumbers weigh in on if this is an eventual issue??? The people need to know!