It’s pretty common for those of us on the spectrum to feel overwhelmed by emotions, especially frustration or anger. Sometimes it feels like things just build up, and then it’s like the tiniest thing tips you over the edge. But why does this happen? Well, often it’s because we’re dealing with a lot of sensory overload, social stress, or even just the frustration of trying to understand things that feel confusing or out of our control. It could also be feeling like people just aren’t understanding where we’re coming from or not getting our needs.

So, why does it feel so intense? For one, our brains tend to process emotions more intensely. Add in sensory overload (like loud noises or too much visual input), social pressure, or any changes to routine, and it can easily feel like everything is too much. And when that happens, the frustration can come out in anger because we just don’t know how else to handle the stress.

Now, how do you deal with it when that frustration starts to bubble up? First of all, recognize the signs early—like when you’re feeling tense, your thoughts start racing, or your patience is wearing thin. That’s your body’s way of saying, “Hey, something’s off here.” Taking a pause, even for a few seconds, can help you hit the reset button before things escalate.

Next, give yourself permission to feel your emotions. It’s totally okay to feel frustrated or angry—it’s a normal human thing. But what you do with those emotions makes the difference. If you can, try to take a step back and think, “What’s really triggering me right now?” Is it a sensory issue, a communication breakdown, or just a bunch of small annoyances piling up?

Once you’ve figured that out, it helps to have a coping strategy in place. For example, you could try taking a few deep breaths, using fidget tools, or stepping away from the situation if you can. Physical activity like going for a walk, doing some stretches, or even squeezing a stress ball can help burn off some of that tension. Or, if you prefer, just find a quiet space to recharge for a few minutes. Everyone has their own ways of calming down—find what works for you.

Finally, talk about it when you can. If you feel safe doing so, letting someone know you’re struggling can help release some of that anger. Explaining your frustrations in a calm moment—whether it’s with a friend, a coworker, or a family member—can make things feel less bottled up. And if you can’t talk about it in the moment, journaling can be a great way to get your thoughts out of your head.

Frustration and anger are tough, but it’s all about finding those tools that help you manage it in a way that works for you. Remember, it’s okay to feel the way you feel—you’re not alone in this.