Today I started my first post-grad job. (Sorry this is mostly a pointless rant.) Maybe I should consider myself lucky since it only took me two months to find one but sh*t is still hard. It's a job that is pretty prestigious and everyone I know won't stop telling me how happy for me they are (this just makes me disliking it worse). I also relocated for this job somewhere that I don't know much about and I also don't know anyone who lives here. Also the job is only a 10 week contract which makes trying to settle in hard as I'll be gone soon anyways. After having a mixed bag of a first day, I am feeling super depressed.

I am someone who thrived on both productivity and social interactions in university. For the past two months at home after finishing school I have been deprived of the productivity and was only getting the social interactions with a small few people. Now in the new place, at my new job, I am getting a little productivity (though not as much as in school) and absolutely no social interactions. I feel like I kinda hate this job and its only been one day. Its pretty physical and my body already aches. The thing is the job is more of a stepping stone job to what I really want to do. I know I'm young and you gotta do the grunt work first before getting the good jobs, but damn I hate this. I also hate this feeling of starting over but know that since my field is mostly contracts I'm gonna have to do it a million times over.

It's been over 5 years since I've had a normal 9-5 schedule and my body and mind are not adjusting well. I'm also incredibly lonely right now. I feel like for the last year of my life I have been constantly wishing the time away. First I wanted it to be summer already cause I was working on an exhausting project, and then I hated my summer job so I wanted it to be September already, then I was so done with school I wanted it to be January (my first month school free) but then I got super bored, found this job, and just wanted it to be time for the job to start already. Now I'm finally here and I have found myself already wishing it was the end of the contract. How do I enjoy the moment and stop feeling so alone??? Is the career path I've poured my whole heart into not the right one for me?