I was in and out of dealing with a Nex from roughly 12/2018 to 07/2021 (as a couple, friends, etc). I’ve been NC since then outside of a couple times. I moved on a lot and made a lot of progress just from reading all these subs and going NC and talking to friends.

However, I cannot control the obsessive thinking, intrusive thoughts, and occasional nightmares. Especially when I’m at work and have nobody/nothing to block out the thoughts. I come to terms with needing to at least talk with a therapist.

I’ve read that I shouldn’t specifically ask for one in narcissist abuse or try and say I was involved with a narc. I really do not want to be with a therapist that will gaslight me as I’m extremely sensitive and defensive about the topic.

I also want to address my self destructive tendencies and extremely low self esteem.

So as the question states, how should I go about looking for a therapist and screening one. What should I ask them? Any advice? Thank you guys.