I always had this problem throughout all my life. I eventually complete the projects I'm working on, but getting to that point takes forever. I have a problem with consistency with almost anything in my life, and I want to learn how to be consistent.

To be more specific: There's this album and game project I'm working on. When I'm off work, or on the weekends, I always think, okay today I'm gonna do this and this and this, but when it comes to doing it, I maybe work on them for an hour at the most most of time times. They feel like a chore rather than something I enjoy working on, even though I'm genuinely interested in these things and truly want to complete them. But working on them feels so boring. So overwhelming. But at the same time if I do other time-wasting activities, I feel bad not working on the things "that I was supposed to be working on". Does anyone have similar feelings?

I do suffer from depression and anxiety but I'm under the treatment for that and even though I think they play a role in this situation, I think I tend to use them as great excuses and give them credit for more than their actual role, to get away from these "responsibilities". Another example I could give is, I quit smoking many times, but months or years later, I always get back to it by thinking that it is what keeps me moving/gives me the motivation to do things, even though that's not true. I'm really exhausted of going back to my old patterns again and again, and want to learn how I can break these cycles. This whole situation makes me think that I seem to have self destructive tendencies.