For context my gf and I are both 24. We’ve been dating for about 5 months. We both have our own full time jobs & apartments. She has graduated college, while I have 11 classes left to graduate.

Our future together at the moment is filled with uncertainty. Specifically in regard to our timelines. She ideally wants to be engaged, her partner graduated with a college degree, and looking towards starting a family & home roughly by 27. Because Im not there yet at the moment to start that, it has her considering her options (being single). It is something she expressed very early in the relationship that is her biggest uncertainty about me. She doesn’t think my current financial situation right now tells her I can possibly provide for her, although she believes I can be the man to get there to match her financial preferences. The issue is she’s juggling to see if this relationship is worth the wait right now to see me get there or should she consider her options elsewhere given she’s 24. She is struggling to accept in this moment of her life being 24 should she be picky or accept that no partner is perfect. (Its a feeling she always had in her previous relationships, asking herself is her partner the right one for her.)

Whats holding me back from making the progress she needs to see at the moment is I am a service member of the military who’s possibly going to leave for a deployment soon. While we had a discussion about how it’ll put me in a better financial position when I come back to pursue finishing my degree in a year & moving forward with our family plans she now is questioning the entirety of the timeline we discussed (although this timeline wasn’t something she opposed to when we first had the discussion. )

In other aspects of our relationship she sees some redeeming qualities. I bring a sense of emotional maturity, intelligence, self growth, accountability, vulnerability & an emotional safe space she’s never had in her previous relationships or with her father. This has singlehandedly been the biggest aspect that she’s felt with me and possibly the one she’s asking herself is it worth to let go.

While the quality of our sex life is great (She’s able to experience consistent orgasms that she never experienced before with any of her partners & the experience is pleasurable) She recently said she wants to refrain from having sex & doesn’t think she can meet my bare basic sexual needs moving forward. She doesn’t have sexual needs (she claims) & she can remain in a sexless relationship for long periods of time. As for this issue while she cited her growing weight, birth control, and low libido as possible issues shes unsure if this situation is affecting it. We worked on a compromise to allowing her to intitiate sex when she feels like it but I doubt it’ll get better in that regard.

She wants to continue being in this relationship. While I try to remain positive in the moment & confident this situation makes me feel like the end is near between us. Im having a hard time trying to be the loving bf she needs while meeting her needs but it’s hard doing that when she feels this way. The lack of sex is also a bonus that adds to my crippling outlook of us. I have to push through and live up to be the optimistic, confident man she knows I can be while my sexual needs and reassurance is not being met at all. I feel like our time is spent together borrowed and I don’t know what to do.

EDIT: She has a full time career and job. She works at an insurance agency and makes good money for her age. She is questioning if she would like to be with someone who brings that financial stability to the table already or patiently wait for it. She wants her partner on equal terms financially (Roughly making close to the same salary or more). She isn’t happy about my financial status atm and she doesn’t know if she’ll learn to accept to be happy knowing I cant focus of finishing school, getting a degree and graduating until I come back (1 year from now).