As the title reads, I’m not scared of death like most days I’d wish to just get shot or when I was working for my states DOT, I would enjoy the close calls with vehicles rushing by me while I would be filling a pothole or something and sometimes I would wish they would just go ahead and hit me but, I don’t plan on killing myself, I don’t want to go out like that. I’d prefer it to be something where it’s out of my control. I don’t think I have a bad life or had a bad childhood by any means especially compared to my wife. But, every day I joke with my wife and coworkers about dying without bating an eye. I’d really prefer a neutral party’s perspective. I’m going to a therapist tomorrow, I plan on talking to them as well but, I’d like more feedback on it to. The feelings have come even stronger especially when my wife and I opened our relationship but, I think that’s just jealousy more than anything.