When I look at stuff on the internet about how to get laid (for men), most of the time I end up seeing some really cringy stuff. Because of all this BS about this topic it can be difficult to know what direction to take and where to start to get better with women. This is why as a guy who used not to get laid and now does, I felt that I could give a unique and valuable perspective on this topic.

1. My Backstory

Before delving into what I think truly matters to get laid a ton let me give you a bit of context about why my advice is relevant to this topic by sharing my backstory.

I used to be an extremely shy and socially retarded person (I could not for the life of me get social cues). Because of that I used to be very uncomfortable around people I would not know, and I would not be that comfortable even around people I knew. I was basically seen as a shy little bitch. And guess what? People treated me as the little bitch they fought I was. A lot of people (weak and pathetic people even) would allow themselves to make fun of me and overtly disrespect me and would not stop even when it made me noticeably uncomfortable. My life resembled a constant hell from a social aspect. To give an example, most people I went to high school with either hate me, consider me to be a loser or at the very least have a pretty negative opinion about me.

Why? Because I was seen as a little bitch (mainly due to the fact that I was very insecure about literally everything and anything and felt like I could not “fit in”).

You often hear people say that high school was the best time of their life or maybe you hear “late bloomers” say that their early twenties were amazing.

For me my late teens and early twenties were pretty depressing and felt like a huge waste of time and a big disappointment where I experienced mostly pain with some few moments here and there where I felt some temporary happiness (mostly when playing sports or when being drunk). I could not get laid (even though I was a pretty handsome dude even back then), I had almost zero friends (but was still fortunate to have a few very good and valuable friendships), I had zero social skills, zero game, I was studying to do a job that I hate (I was in law school in France), and was also living in a pretty small town were there wasn’t that much social life going on.

Also by the time I entered my early twenties I became fat after quitting cigarettes and started to lose my hair.

When I look back on that period of my life, I feel like I’ve lost five years of my life where I ended up in a worse situation than I started in. I was still a virgin, feeling even more insecure about being a virgin than before, I was now balding and fat, I had still very weak social skills, I was still studying something I did not give a flying fuck about, I was broke, most of the optimism and hopefulness I had back in high school had left me.

Well, when you realize that what the fuck do you do? Short answer is I tried a lot of stuff, some stuff that might be considered extreme by most people and turned this shit around. This includes:

-doing some cringe pick up artist cold approach tactics

-spending my nights approaching all the “hot” women I could find in bars (and trying to seduce them)

-cold approaching girls at the park or during the daytime (and trying to seduce them)

-getting into sales and trying to become a good salesman (which I succeeded at)

-losing 20kg of fat in 5 months and becoming lean again

-starting working out and taking performance enhancing drugs to speed up the process (and make sure I get there).

-start treating my male pattern baldness with experimental drugs (RU58841)

-spending thousands of hours looking and analyzing people who were considered very charismatic and confident (like famous actors) and trying to mimic their body language and mannerisms

-going on dates with ugly girls I did not want to bang just to get “used to the process” of going on dates

-learning how to take good pictures of me for tinder and dating apps

-learning how to text girls on dating apps so I could get them to come straight to my apartment or near my apartment under a sexual pretense.

Nowadays people generally perceive me as this handsome masculine, confident dude that gets a ton of pussy. And even though I do not get laid as often as most people might think I still get laid pretty consistently and with very attractive girls. Most of the girls I end up banging, I bang on the first date. Women generally have positive reactions around me but some feel I’m an asshole or a bit of a creep. Something to note is that I also really enjoy spending time with women and flirting with them.

To be honest I don’t necessarily consider myself to be “that” good with women even today. But I get laid as much, or almost as much I want to and with hot chicks. I have way above average social skills and became amazingly good at “holding” frame and communicating in a confident manner. This is why I think my advice is unique and has value and if you feel like an underachiever with girls, you should at least consider my advice and the following practical steps I’m going to lay out.

2. Start Hitting on Girls, and Go Hit on a Ton of Girls

You may think it’s a joke, but I’m serious. The first step you should take is going to hit on girls and lots of them. Go hit on girls you find attractive, go hit on girls you find ugly. Just go hit on them.

And when I say go hit on girls, I don’t mean go “talk” to girls, I mean go talk to girls like you want to seduce them. Out of all the things that lead me to where I am today I think this is the most important one.

Why is it important to go hit on girls and to actually try your best each and every time?

It’s important because it is the only way to learn how women generally behave and how to behave around them.

What is going to happen initially? Well you will get rejected a ton because a lot of your “early” approaches will be sloppy, uncalibrated, or you would not be able to pick up on some socials cues that would then lead to some weird interactions, or you would not know how to move the interaction forward properly.

When you “mass approach” you will learn a lot of stuff about approaching women and how they react to different types of approaches and how their behavior changes. You will then subconsciously do things a little bit differently and better every new approach. You will also become desensitized to what people might think of you and you will care less and less about rejection and being seen as a creep. This will result in you being more confident.

At some point (even if it takes a while) you will see some success. I.E get laid and this will start the ball rolling. Once you start getting a bit of success it’s going to be easier to keep going and you will have even more success and at some point you will make up and realize “damn I actually think I’m pretty decent with girls”.

Something else that will help a lot is getting into sales and becoming good at it. Becoming a successful salesperson is a difficult thing to do, but it will teach you a lot of things in terms of how to maintain frame during interactions, how to become socially “savy”, how to convince people, how to move things forward in every interaction. Also if you’re good at sales, this can open the possibility to make good money and help you with girls at the same time.

Starting off is difficult but it gets easier and easier. If you’re in the early steps just know that it is not always going to be that hard and that it gets easier over time.

3. Don’t Listen to What People Close to you Might Think

When you will start spending most of your time hitting on girls, people close to you will likely start having a negative opinion about all of this. This was the case for me. My few close friends and my parents even (people who really knew me), basically shared their unsolicited “2 cents” on what I was doing. Basically, they thought that it is not a serious ambition, that it is a waste of time, that it is cringy and bad. These are the people who would tell me things like “just be yourself bro”, “the women part will take care of itself”.

Why should you not listen to them?

Well before answering this question to drive a point home, let just say I write an article on how to quit heroin, but I’ve never taken heroin or taken any hard substance that is similar to it in my entire life, do you think my advice will be valuable?

The answer is probably no. Because I will not know how taking the drug feels like, and how trying to quit feels like or what are the practical steps to take to quit taking this substance.

In the same way people who will give you their “unsolicited” opinion don’t know how bad you feel inside, how not being able to receive any affection from any girl or any girl you find at least decent looking, feels like. They don’t know the desperation you might be feeling by being bad with girls or with people in general. They don’t know how it feels not to get the respect and “human decency” you think you deserve from other people. They simply don’t get it. Most people have very average lives, with very low ambitions or goals and can’t understand why other people might have ambitions that are not considered “normal” within society. Because of that people might start shaming you for trying to get better, or shame you for not being good at it.

If you want to truly improve in terms of getting girls, you must not listen to anybody that has a negative opinion about it. What makes it a bit easier is trying to befriend people, or get into communities with people that share the same ambitions and struggles as you.

4. Realize You Don’t Have a Choice

If you truly feel as bad about yourself than how I used to feel like, any moment of your life will have a subtle but persistent aftertaste of shit. It will feel as if you’re not able to truly feel any happiness until something changes.

Personally, if more than 3 years ago I did not start changing anything about myself or my life, I would have maybe become an alcoholic, a substance abuser or maybe even worse.

This is probably what being in the shittiest spot feels like. There is probably not that much worse that can happen to you. It can either get better or stay the same. You probably have nothing to lose. You don’t have a choice but to improve.

5. Start Improving Your Looks

The dating marketplace has become very competitive for us men. If you’re serious about trying to get laid consistently with hot women you have to improve your looks, there is just no way around it. If you want to improve your looks but don't know where to start, have a look at my article I did on this topic.

6. Be Patient!

I know it sucks but be patient. You’re not going to go from being afraid to talking to girls, to being an ultra-confident and smooth dude in a matter of weeks or months. You’re not going to go from being obese to having a fitness model body in a matter of weeks either. This shit takes time, and it is exactly why it fucking works, it’s because more than 90% of people who will try will not stick for long enough to reach the other end of the road.