Hey guys, really hope this is a good community to get honest advice. I (25F) have a high sex drive but have been unable to have sexual relationships for over a year due to sexual trauma that had me reacting negatively to advances from men for some time. I really wanted sex- I could be attracted to someone and yet get so much anxiety even being close to them. Any sexual touch made me feel scared and cornered. I want desperately to keep trying- I’m really lonely, I’m horny and the longer I go without having a significant connection I feel this problem just gets worse. For example, now even dirty talk from men on apps gets me nervous.

I’ve been wanting to push through and just meet up with someone and see how it goes. I know they will likely be confused if I appear to flinch or pull back or otherwise seem nervous/hesitant. But I really do want to figure out how to fix this. I’m at a loss for how to explain this to a potential partner without totally turning them off. I think if I was given patience and had control over the situation things might be okay. But I don’t want to trauma dump either and I can only imagine how unsexy I will probably become to them in the moment. It feels like a lot to ask from a stranger.