Trigger warning. I just needed an outlet to vent.

In case anyone needs a background on my issues, I posted a few days ago that I think I'm bad at adjusting to my relationship post honeymoon.

I just wanted to give some updates. I had a mini meltdown today because I was stressed at balancing work, home loan and studies which lead to another conversation with my gf.

She admitted to me that she being a baby lesbian (I am her first lesbian relationship) , she's not ready for the struggles of being one. She doesn't know how she is going to let her family know her orientation and she's worried about the cost of artificial insemination for having kids in the future amongst other things.

Further more she is currently experiencing some major changes in her career that's very stressful on her.

In the beginning of the relationship she thought we would the perfect partners in crime in terms of love and all the things we want to do such as migrating out of our home country. However I have highlighted to her that it is more difficult for me to migrate and find work as I don't have a college degree. I am working towards one but she fears I would take too long to finish it.

I finally said to her that good relationships are about weathering the storms, can she weather the storm with me? I knew she wasn't ready to answer and as this conversation happened during a work day we decided best to focus on our work and leave this conversation for another time.

I know she loves me but I'm not sure if she's strong enough to wait.

My heart is stuck in limbo now. I don't know what to do. I cried at work today pretended I was having a bad flu.

End of rant.