hello! i am a 25 y/o transmasc enby and i have a coworker who i am quite vexed by and unsure how to act around. my coworker (24f) is a VERY soft-spoken femme whom i keep getting mixed signals about, and i'm not sure what to make of it. for context, i just started working at this new job after moving to a different city, and i've been at this job for about two months now. the company i work for is very inclusive, and a lot of the people under it are either queer or very strong allies. it's not uncommon for me to be around a ton of other lgbtq individuals. however, the past two months i've been vexed in trying to figure out what exactly it is that is happening with this very specific coworker because i've been getting weird mixed signals. i'm very masc presenting and (in my personal opinion) very visibly queer. i'm not ashamed to talk about women and voice my distaste for men, and i surround myself in queer media and talk about interests that align with a lot of things gay people generally like. early on several of my other coworkers who are also in the community caught on and we've built really great connections. with The Femme™ however, i wasn't exactly sure if she was also gay or simply just an ally by appearance alone, and anytime i would try and build a conversation to get to know her like i do with my other coworkers, she bails after a few sentences to complete a random task or to talk to somebody else. it doesn't rub me the wrong way since we are at work, but i feel an awkward tension whenever we're sharing a space together, and i don't want to make her feel awkward or uncomfortable in any way. a few times i've asked if she was okay or needed help, and she always denies any kind of help even when i can tell that she's struggling with something. she speaks very softly so i usually have to really lean in close to hear her (auditory processing disorder), and a lot of the time i can't tell if she's trying to avoid me because she's into me or if i'm simply projecting. i had heard from another coworker that she had a girlfriend before, but today she verbally confirmed to me today that she was into women, so now i'm wondering if i really wasn't crazy and self-assured. any ideas?