hello im sorry if this isn’t the place to ask but i need lesbians to tell me if im right or wrong over this bc my straight friend told me its wrong of me to think it could be

⚠️TW: does this count as assault? very detailed description of what happened ⚠️

i 19F had a friend 18F who i’ve known for years, we are in the same university and everything was fine until sept 21. i went to her house and were watching netflix (arcane lol) and i usually make jokes (and my friends know this) about wanting to kiss someone so i made one and she told me "if u asked me i wouldve said yes" i was kind of shocked but i said "really?" and she went to the bed with me and kissed me, everything was fine im not gonna judge her here, but the next thing that happened was weird, we were making out and she disclosed to me she didnt like being touched (stone top) and i was okay with that like no problem. we were kissing and she said "can i?" i thought she meant touching me more but not down there because there was not an indication for that. so i was laying down and i feel her unbuttoning my pants, i was shocked (she knows my history of cocsa and all) so i couldnt move and then i start to feel weird and it hurt a little…she finishes doing what she was doing and goes to the bathroom, i was laying there alone looking at the ceiling and then i asked her what happened, she told me she fingered me and i was shocked because I've never done that not even myself, i told her that and she said something along the lines of "oh that makes sense". now i dont know if that counts as some kind of penetration bc its not a dick or toy, but i felt bad. i didnt realize this until last week when i was talking about some problems and a friend said how its weird for people to do stuff during sex without asking, and i said if that counts but she said not really. so i don't know. i feel conflicted, she knows I'm a very insecure person and ive never let anyone touch me down there bc of that and trauma too. im so confused please someone help me i feel disgusted and gross at myself for not saying anything probably could've been avoided but i froze.