I’ve seen a lot of bad (and honestly borderline scary) relationship stories on this sub lately. Lots of questions regarding what’s okay and what’s not, and when it’s time to leave a relationship. So, for all the little lesbians in my phone screen, I have compiled some of my best dating and life advice for the year ahead.

• no one notices all those little things you criticize about yourself, so try not to let your own self-perception bog you down

• be kinder to yourself, (and less kind to those intent on misunderstanding you) coughcough discourse goblins cough

• be honest with (and trust!) yourself. (so many people come here to ask questions they already know the answer to, they just don’t trust their own gut)

• learn to set, vocalize, and STICK TO boundaries

• it’s better to be wrong about a person, than to suffer through the relationship, just so you can prove yourself right.

• time runs out, don’t waste it on things that don’t matter to you.

• growth happens most outside your comfort zone. try new things. get that haircut. explore yourself.

• comparison is the thief of joy.

• if you’ve already given someone your best, you have nothing else to offer. you can’t pour if you’re empty.

• lost potential is just that, lost. don’t go running back to situations that already failed once. (or more than once)

• just because a breakup was mutual, doesn’t mean you have to stay friends. there’s no great lesbian law that says you have to stay friends with your exes. sometimes, it’s just time to move on.

• go to therapy if you have the means and ability.

• good intentions matter, but your actions define you.

• show up.

• face the music when it plays. don’t stress about things that haven’t yet happened.

• don’t argue with idiots. all they do is drag you down to their level, and beat you at their own game.

• a loss is only a loss if you learn nothing from it.

• do the right thing, and wait.

• a snake knows its way to the roost. a liar will keep up until they get caught.

• you’ll never have everything figured out, and that’s okay.

• there is no one way to express yourself.

• right is right, and wrong is wrong. few things are black and white, but you know how you feel about the situation.

• take time to know yourself before you look to know another.

some of these are passed to me from my elders and some are from kind internet strangers, but all have served me well. feel free to leave your own advice in the comments 🫶🏻