A few months ago I matched with a girl and we went to grab drinks a few times. I really liked her but I was terrified of disappointing my mum (she once told me she doesn't want her kids to be gay because she wants biological grandchildren) and I didn't feel like I could offer her anything (she had just graduated university while I still have 4 years left, I didn't want to do that to her). I ended up telling her I was afraid I didn't have anything to offer her and then ghosted her because I was too afraid to read the response. A few months ago I tried to go on a date with a guy, hoping I'd be able to make my mum happy, but I just can't fall for a man. I've accepted that I'm properly lesbian, I know something will always be missing if I'm with a man instead of a woman. I know I'll only be happy marrying a woman. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about her specifically even though it's been months. I do want to reach out but I don't want to hurt her any more than I may have. I saw the beginning of her response and it said that she's still interested in me and if I want to grab drinks with her again I should just text her, but it's been months. Maybe she's happily in a relationship now, maybe she realised I've been too unreliable and doesn't want me near her, ... I've been thinking about reaching out to her for two months now but I'm too afraid of angering or hurting her which only makes me put it off more. I really need to make a decision.

Any advice? (Also, please don't be mean. I know I messed up, no need to rub salt in the wound :') I just want to know what's best for her. Me reaching out, or me leaving her alone)