This might be a long rant fyi. Listen I know how much of a jerk this makes me sound and I agree. I really do. I feel so bad and I just don’t know what to do. So in july my best friend got a boyfriend and before that I had feelings for her. But I never told her. Because she’s my best friend and I didn’t want to lose her. So instead, once she got a boyfriend to ease the pain on that, I downloaded a dating app and since the beginning of September I’ve been talking to this one girl and we’ve gone on like 7 dates and she’s lovely I really really like her. But I realized I’m pretty in love with my best friend still. Whenever she talks about her boyfriend I just want to throw my head into a wall. I get so jealous and one time I legit cried in her own bathroom because she was telling me about her night with him and I just was like. Damn. I don’t show my jealousy I hype her up and everything’s dandy. But I’m still talking to this girl and I know it’s not fair to her I know that. So I want to end it but like where does that leave me 😭 I know that sounds so selfish but it’s not like my best friend feels the same way obviously. I don’t wanna tell her. But I also just know having feelings for someone else while talking to this girl is just wrong. I wish I could feel the way for this girl like I do for my best friend and I’ve tried but it’s just not her. I’m ridiculous. So I’m gonna end it with her. Because as the more we talk the more I just wish it wasn’t her. Anyways. There’s that. Glad to get it off my chest. I know I’m a jerk no need to tell me again 😭😭.