Hi folks, I’m desperately needing for a talk/advice.

I’m gay, been out to my friends for years. Recently came out to my family due to some circumstance. But not everyone knows.

The only thing they said is to never date a girl again. Ever since, they never talk about it anymore. Almost like they never acknowledge it.

As someone from a conservative place, it’s understandable. I know they care for my happiness. But it still hurt a little.

But today, they’re trying to match me with A GUY. Although I told them I’m not looking for anything now, they said they’re not asking me to get married (fyi, they’re not forcing me). They said I could get to know him first and later on I can decide myself. My grandma is so happy about it though.

So here I am. I’m pretty sure I’m out and proud. But this situation really pull things down for me. I’m not sure what’s the right things to do.

All I know is I want to make my family happy, but I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and thinking I’m nothing more than his wife.

I want to be her wife, to be loved and cared for by HER. I don’t know who that is, but just the idea of her makes me feel complete.