I always have known I like girls, but everyone knows me as being bi. I was previously married to a man, mostly to please my religious parents. But it was awful for many reasons, but one was the sex - Dry. Unaroused. Painful. Awful.

I always feel somewhat disgusted when I'm with men. I always feel like I have to disassociate to be with them, especially sexually. The thought of being with a man now makes me feel physically sick tbh.

Women are everything. Sexy. Beautiful. Femanine energy just fills me. All my intense crushes have always been girls. So yeah, I've been denying it for a long time, but I think I'm lesbian. I recently went on two friend dates with a lesbian and being around her gave me such intense crazy physical full body tingles and I just wanted to kiss her SOOO badly. Feelings I NEVER feel with men.

So yeah. I suspect I'm lesbian, but when I bring up the idea to my friends (who are all queer or queer accepting), they're like "no, no you're probably just bi." (I'm very femme and girly, so perhaps that's it?)

But, the knowledge that I never have to sexually be with a man again brings me to quite-literal tears of happiness and relief. The knowledge that I'm a lesbian feels so right and authentic. I really just want to scream it from the rooftops!!! But for now, I will just come out to ya'll because I hope this is a safe space to.