From your (likely) elder and fellow late bloomer, hoping to share some helpful guidance based on the influx of concerning posts across (L) subreddits:

1. Your/our trauma from men is valid, however, it is up to us as individuals to process & heal, not for the community to validate and stamp your queer card
2. Process and heal from your internalized homophobia and misogyny BEFORE dating women (it’s GLARING in these posts)
3. DO NO HARM - the only way you can do no harm is by DOING THE WORK on yourself undoing your internalized homophobia and misogyny
4. Women are not going to flock to you - you have to put in real effort and learn how to demonstrate and desire giving reciprocally 4a. If you lean into helplessness, uselessness, general lameness - you will reap what you sow - so many of us sound like we’ve tried nothing and ran out of ideas
5. Consider the community and women when you are asking for help on your journey - we aren’t here to help you ‘explore’ or ‘experiment’ — your words matter and there IS a respectful path to enlightenment without objectifying, using, or hurting women
6. Women, dating women, loving women properly are not SCARY — if you are genuinely scared, see #2

I’m rooting for us to DO BETTER 👏