I'm 22F，Chinese. I cam out to my mom a few weeks ago cuz i mentally broke down bc of unrelated problems.Back then， she reacted like “okay I didnt expect that but i think im accepting this quite okay” kinda thing. I felt relieved then and I shared this news with friends，they were all happy for me. I thought we are okay about this topic，like the OKAY okay. We havent briught up this topic ever since. And i once thought my mom didnt really care that much.

Not until today. My 11 year old cousin left the house without telling her parents and basically my family were angry about this. So was my mom. I was trying to ease the atmosphere but She took it all out on me and warned me not to do eccentric，useless things like“liking girls and all”

I was shocked. I trusted her and i thought we were fine. Sometimes i just wish if i were straight so i dont have to deal with all of this. Then i realized after silently crying my lungs out for a good hour that she gaslit me my whole life to make me what she saw as a good person. I’ve never gotten the chance to find who i really am or what i really wanted. I never felt valid in my family. I guess thats why im always trying to run away. An now she’s back home acting like nothings happened and talking to me like the loving mother she had always been. what should I do…