I'm not sure how to mark this NSFW since I didn't see it in the flairs, so apologies for that. I'm trying to keep it relatively free of explicit details anyway.

Basically, as the title says, I need lesbian erotica that's decent quality. I'm not interested in porn or audio, I'm specifically looking for written material. I don't care if it's self-published or traditionally published, on a fanfic site or on Literotica, I just want recommendations of things you've actually read and either enjoyed or just appreciated. I searched and found a handful of posts along these lines, but there weren't a ton of responses, so I'm throwing out another line and hoping I catch something worthwhile.

For some added context, the reason I'm looking for this is that I've been discussing my feelings about sex in therapy and my therapist suggested incorporating it into my solo sex life. Sex has always been performative for me, a thing where I figure out what I think the other person involved wants from me and then I figure out the best way to give it to them and do that. I've never deeply investigated my own needs or preferences beyond conditioning myself to get fulfillment from someone else being into me and learning to make their desires my own. This has often resulted in me delving into things that don't make me feel good or valued/respected, simply because it's what a partner was into and I didn't want to say no. And maybe also a little bit because it removed agency from me and that was easier than thinking about what I would like for myself.

I think I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum and have thought so for years, but I'm starting to wonder if it's not just that but that I don't know how to connect with my sexuality on a physical level when I'm not doing it for someone else. I don't know how to free myself from the guilt and shame I feel after masturbation, which I think comes from trying to view myself as an independently sexual being. When the performance of sex doesn't have a target except for me, I don't know what it's supposed to look or feel like or how I'm supposed to act, so it's easier to just not think about it at all.

I do also have past trauma as part of this wonderful cocktail of factors, but I've done a lot of work on that and it doesn't feel as relevant anymore as it did even a couple of years ago.

So this is where the erotica comes in. I would like to explore depictions of other people's sex lives as a way to start to figure out what, if anything, I want for myself. I need a framework for how it could look and a pre-prepared situation to insert myself into. I'm not into any fandoms to a degree where I read fanfiction for them, but if you have recs for fanfiction you think doesn't necessarily require a lot of knowledge of the source material, I'll give it a try. I'm kind of a snob about writing, even when it comes to this, but I'll do my best to set some of that aside if there's decent characterization and a little plot with the porn. Any kinks are fine. I do have preferences where that's concerned, but I'd like to try out a variety of material just for investigatory purposes because most of what I know involves men.

I really appreciate any suggestions y'all can offer, and I hope this was all vague enough that it doesn't trigger or make anybody uncomfortable.