I am in a complicated-confusing situation that I’ve gotten myself in and I am trying to figure out my emotions & feelings and how I truly feel about this mentally and emotionally. I female (29) lesbian or confused bisexual but I’m into women way more than men, have been dating my girlfriend f(36) for 4 months now, which my gf is a married women and has a husband who knows about us, as they have an open marriage.

So I’ve basically been dating my bisexual gf a married women with a traditional lifestyle and children. The first few months it’s strictly been just my gf and I dating and having sex and going out having quality time and what not. It was great when we are alone and have our time together and her husband was always around when I visit the house & so I built a friendship with him and we all get along great.

One night we got drunk and had a threesome (4months after dating my gf), and we all did it together 1 or 2 more times after sober just to see how I feel I guess idk being I told them I’m a lesbian and I’m not really into men.

Immediately after the first drunk night the Husband asked me to be both their girlfriends. It’s almost as if I fell into the throuple situation trap all of a sudden when it was just my gf and I for the first 3-4 months. Of course my gf told me only if I am comfortable and no one is forcing anything although I feel some sort of pressure now and I may disappoint the husband and maybe even my gf if I tell them hey I want things back to normal with just my gf and I

I’m not sure how to have that conversation with them or my gf alone. I assume she’ll be understanding but maybe lowkey disappointed or at least her husband will as he really finds me attractive and likes me too

And I do not want to do anything sexually with the husband anymore as my heart is not in it and it’s whatever for me when I did things with him and us all together I wasn’t super into it and it was more of me exploring my sexuality than anything and trying to see if I can be a real throuple with them as they don’t mind that..they got happy about the idea so I wanted to give it a shot but I feel guilty now

I also have mixed emotions and feelings now after seeing my gf being f’d by her husband in bed. Or around the house when they kiss or he smacks her ass or they tell each other I love you and I’ve seen them have sex together on FaceTime as I watched and for some reason I feel like there’s a shift in emotions for me and it kinda turns me off like turns my feelings off seeing my gf with someone else

but it’s something I’m forced to accept because I knew from day 1 she’s married and thought I can be okay with it as her husband doesn’t get jealous when my gf and I do things together but on my end I sometimes feel some type of way when I see my gf with her husband lovey dovey and I know they love each other and I’m happy for them and I know my gf loves me too but I guess im still struggling to share my partner with her husband.

And the fact they sleep together every night and have intercourse daily while I’m not there living with them and I’m sleeping alone in my house while my gf is with her man everyday… don’t get me wrong I’m happy if she’s happy and her hubby is a great man and I like them all! But I was never in a poly situation before and I sometimes feel like I’m the extra as they have built a family together for many years and I’m this new girl entering their life although they said I add more fun love and spice into their lives and they love having me around

I think I liked things better with just my gf and I alone without her husband being involved and now I’m also struggling to accept my gf doing things with her husband while I’m not involved and I’m not sure how I feel about this entire situation. There were moments where I coped with the jealousy and tried to not overthink it and thought alright this isn’t so bad I can handle sharing her. She’s loves me and loves him too. He’s a man and I’m a woman and we offer different things for her.

Any advice? Have you been in this situation before? I’m confused and don’t know what I am feeling. I care for my gf very much and idk where to go from here and how to cope with the jealousy of her being with her husband and me feeling left out or jealous she’s sleeping with someone else and giving him time and attention more than me. And thinking of her sleeping with him suddenly is turning my feelings off slightly although I was accepting of it or trying to be throughout our 4 month relationship. It’s a struggle I’m trying to overcome. I’m trying to have compersion and be happy regardless I’m there or not.

How do I make things go back to normal with my gf and I without the throuple situation? I hope it won’t be awkward when I go to her house and her husband is always there. I don’t want to offend him either.

What would you do in my shoes?