I'm relatively new to polyamory and haven't actually had more than 1 deeply invested and emotionally deep connection at a time. I’d consider myself monogamous but for some reason I fell for this woman and she fell for me— in a way we are committed to only dating each other (besides her having a hubby)

I’ve been dating a married woman for a few months now, she has children and a husband that are her main priorities in life which I respect. She loves her husband and he loves her, they sleep together everyday, and have a traditional marriage and will be together forever. Their marriage is open, meaning he dates girls separately and has his own gf and she does the same. I’m her only partner outside of her husband though. Her main and only girlfriend that she wants/needs.

I feel deeply for this woman and really want my connection with her to 'go somewhere'. In every relationship I've had that's lasted for a significant amount of time, I've always been the primary. This will be the first time that I'm not and it's bringing up all kinds of questions and confusion as the future is unknown.

Can I ever be as important to her? How can I build a relationship with someone who's priorities are elsewhere? Will we take our relationship more seriously and will that imbalance doom us? It seems like I'm challenging a lot of my patterns and indoctrination about how relationships are supposed to look.

I want to stay open minded and be able to do something new. The couple is open to maybe one day having me become a live in girlfriend so I can be closer to my gf. But how will that be when her husband is in the house? How can I cope with the jealousy of sharing her? One day she’ll sleep in my bed & one day in her husbands bed since we are not a throuple. It’s like I will get her only part time. How can she share us both equally and make me a priority? Whether I move in one day or I don’t.

I think I just need to reevaluate what I'm really wanting from her and accepting that I can't ever and won't ever be able to compete with her family for love and attention. (FYI I will never want to ruin her marriage or family life, I’m happy for her & care for her) plus she made it clear she will never leave her husband and I am aware of that and have no intentions of interfering with her marriage. But I do want to be a big priority in her busy life while sharing her with her husband that she lives with and sleeps next to everyday and does things with.

My relationship with her will need to look different than any other relationship I've ever had. The unknown is scary. Any advice? What should I do? Can I be with her long term? Is there hope for a successful relationship or am I not being realistic falling for a married woman whose husband and children come before me although she tries to make me a priority and we see each other once or twice a week and talk throughout the day as much as we can here and there.

I am very open minded and patient and accepting of many things. I really like her and we have an amazing connection filled with love, romance, care, affection, friendship and so much more. We are each others twin flames. Any advice please?