hi so I'm editing this post and getting rid of my main block of text because I realized my question was harmful. essentially someone who used to be my friend was joking about being a lesbian then told me she finds men attractive but could never date or be intimate with one due to trauma. I'm not very educated on the nuances of sexuality and was confused because the basic knowledge I know left me with the impression that the definition of bisexuality is liking men and women. not only did I word it terribly but I made it seem like her personal experiences are invalid. I wanted to ask what people think about her statement of trauma affecting her sexuality. my goal was not to offend, invalidate or spread any sort of ideology. I was simply curious on what the general opinion is about not dating a group of people because of trauma. I am a sexual assault survivor myself and I genuinely did not mean to invalidate any other survivors. I'm sorry for any confusion, pain and anger I may have caused, it truly was not my intention. I'm going to leave the comments open/not delete the post/whatever because a few people actually were kind enough to leave their own experiences and explain how things work, I'm very appreciative of the people who did this because it helped me get a better understanding of what this person was talking about. there was also some other good discussion that happened. I've come to the conclusion I messed up but I want to be able to read back some comments to help myself understand. I'm not trying to dictate anyone's sexuality, it's my personal belief that if your relationship is safe and consensual it's not my business. I also don't personally believe trauma turns you gay and I think that's a harmful idea mostly pushed by homophobes. I was just confused by what the person I was talking to meant and wanted a better understanding of it, I understand I went about this the wrong way. again, I'm incredibly sorry. from what some kind commenters and people who I've talked to have helped me understand is that sexuality is incredibly complex and when you combine that with trauma and social pressure different things happen but it's no ones place to judge. I apologize to anyone I invalidated with this post.

if anyone has any good resources on the complexity of sexuality I would appreciate it being linked in the comments, the stuff I'm finding while googling isn't making sense to me and I'm getting mixed information from them

also for anyone asking me to just talk to her, I have restricted contact with this person for very good reasons and only see her occasionally. I have no ill will to her but she's not at a place in her life where I can be there for her and not have my mental health negatively affected. we bumped into each other at a school thing and talked, I don't have any plans to reach out to her but I did tell one of our mutual friends to check on her because during this conversation she said other concerning things. I really do wish the best for her