I've been trying to figure this one out for a while. I recently moved back to the city I grew up in, and most of my old friend group has left, so I'm trying to rebuild it.

My wife and I are poly, and I'm trans, so this makes dating feel even more intimidating and discouraging for me. There are a lot of ENM/poly WLW profiles on the apps in my city, but in the four months I've been using them, I've matched with only a handful of women, and they've mostly been other trans women (and the conversation usually fizzles out). I've dated T4T before, and there's nothing wrong with it, but sometimes it feels like the apps algorithms are specifically pushing me into a trans-only dating pool. It's hard not to take that personally, but it's very discouraging.

I'm an introvert who doesn't drink, so going to bars/clubs isn't a sustainable option for me. I'm also not very athletic, so sportsball and derby aren't really a great fit either.

So, what do? Where do all the bookish, nerdy sapphics congregate?