this is my letter to the lesbians and other sapphic women who have struggled with compulsory heterosexuality and sexism.

It's not your fault, it doesn't make you less gay. it's been engraved in you since you were little, it's been engraved in everyone, especially people assigned female at birth. from little things like random TikTok comments not even directed at you to growing up in the American south and having purity culture forced down your throat, I have a feeling everyone in this subreddit has faced invalidation at some point. you're told that your sexuality is attractive, you're a living porn category for people who don't even apply to your label. you're told you're "too pretty to be a lesbian" and when you get mad they say "it's just a compliment." You'll see comments under a random TikTok video of a girl talking about her favorite Starbucks order and half of them are talking about how awesome her body is. "you should smile more" and the time a random classmate commented on your chest run through your mind, for some people this makes it feel like you're only worthy of appreciation (platonic or not) if your body looks good for others. some girls being told that their role as a good religious woman is serving her husband, you think that you, a 13 year old, is broken because that's not what you want. why isn't that what you want. not everyone can immediately snap into a "who cares" mindset. it's harder for some to force away what's been forced on you since you were little.

of course, some people are bisexual. it's completely normal to experiment with labels and identity though. it's also normal to need to react to sexism. please try to work through what the world put on your shoulders. do you actually want to flirt with him or do you feel like you're only wanted if you do? are you kissing him because it's what you want to or is something you're being pressured into? are you sending him nudes because you want to hook up or because you want to be told you're beautiful by the people who you're 'supposed' to like? it's perfectly normal to feel like you have to comply, because what if your family won't be ok with you marrying a woman? what if no one wants you except that boy from work? I'm telling you that you will find some beautiful woman who makes you feel special. I promise some kind woman will make you so happy. you don't NEED to comply. allow yourself to do what you actually want, not what you think everyone else wants.

you're allowed to be yourself and not some man's dream girl. fight to come over the decided norm where sexism makes girls feel inadequate. you are valid and beautiful if you're butch, if you don't like men, if you don't want a marry at all, if you don't want to stay in the religion you were raised in, if you don't want kids. embrace yourself, I promise you'll be so much happier.