For context, I (30f) been involved with this girl (29f) for two years. We’ve taken things slow, when we first began getting to know one another, she said that she was bisexual, and she wasn’t out yet to her family, to which I’ve been completely understanding of. Two years have gone by, and I’ve managed to fall head over heels for her. I’ve always been very patient and understanding with her, and have tried to show her tenderness and kindness whenever possible.

Well, almost a month ago, she went completely dark on me. Went ghost for about three weeks. Last I had heard from her, her mother was visiting. Her mother is super religious, and is pretty toxic and this is me putting it as nicely as I possibly can. After I had finally heard back from her after almost a month, she had spiraled into a chasm of self-doubt, depression and anxiety and just overall shittiness; she had attempted to come out to her mother, and her mother had probably the worst reaction.

She is very close with her family, so for her mother to have this reaction is absolutely heartbreaking for her, whilst also not very surprising (to me atleast.) To put it into vague terms without going too much into detail, she hasn’t gotten very much support from her family, her friends have offered some advice and it’s not very helpful to her in the midst of everything. However, she has been incredibly distant from me, and I fear that she is feeling like she has to choose between her relationship with her parents or ultimately, being authentic to herself. My heart absolutely aches for her. I am trying to be as optimistic and positive as I can be about this situation but judging from our correspondence, it’s not looking very good for us.

She feels awful for having me be emotionally wrapped up in this situation, and she keeps saying she doesn’t want to string me along, or keep me on any hooks. She doesn’t want to keep hurting me anymore and hearing those words gives me the horrible feeling that she is leaning more toward doing what her family wants. Which is a crying, heartbreaking shame.

I have given her her space, and have tried to be as encouraging as I can be without shoving my personal bias into the picture. The decision is hers in the end, but fuck, the one is going to break my damn heart.

I’m not asking for any advice, though I’m sure many of you have gone through a similar situation. And if you have any to offer, I will gladly consider it. I just needed to get this out somehow. It’s been weighing on me so heavily for the past week. 😞