Author's Note: See "FOOTNOTES" at the bottom of the second post for superscripted words. Also, WOW I didn't expect it to get this long, hopefully it's entertaining all the way through, let me know what you think!

Second Note: I want to return to this story/universe, but I'm not sure when I will.

Marcus adjusted the glasses on his face for the millionth time that day - he was fully aware that he was a walking nerdy stereotype. His wife Jenny had told him, back when they were still in middle school, that that was what she admired about him, that he was able to be himself with no excuses or regrets. It stuck with him and he decided to fully embrace it, taking a job at the SET¹ division of NASA. It helped that she was more nerdy than he was. He looked over at her monitoring the station's receivers with intense interest and chuckled lightly to himself. She really got into her work. He was a lucky guy.

Most days it was simply monitoring a new star or system of stars, checking it for anomalies that could be a gravitational pull of a solar system, or monitoring their light output to see if it semi-regularly had obstructions, which would also indicate planets or possibly a Dyson Sphere². Now that would be an exciting discovery! However, they had recently begun receiving small echoes of an anomalous signal - not quite a radio signal but it still tapped into their satellite dishes with radio-like feedback. The station was currently abuzz with activity, attempting to lock down the source of the signal.

"Marcus." His wife whispered carefully and nudged him silently as she scooted her chair closer to his. "Look at this, I think I found something." She turned her screen towards him. "Just over a century ago, in the late 2000s, NASA sent out probes broadcasting a signal so they could be found in a wide range, each of these probes held a map to Earth, as well as a Rosetta stone for our languages. Other defining qualities of Earth such as what we look like, basic culture, and similar subjects were included." She had that look in her eyes she gets when an obsession takes over. He loved that, and not just because it meant tonight would be filled with wild, crazy sex. But that was definitely part of it.

"Right, everyone knows that." He trailed off at the end, nudging her to continue.

She grinned. "Well look at the trajectory of SET-P17." She jabbed a finger at her screen excitedly, causing the colors to distort around her finger. "It was one of our earliest probes! It was the second probe sent after we broke FTL travel, fantastic technology at the time, but obviously dwarfed by currently technology." She turned away from the screen at this, the reflection in her glasses caught one of the lights above and it gave her a manic quality. My mad scientist. He thought, grinning to himself despite her serious demeanor. "Still, this probe would have overtaken the first 15 probes sent out after only a few months, so other than SET-P16, it's traveled the furthest distance, as more advanced improvements in technology came too late."

Marcus looked at his wife's screen and suddenly understood what she was saying: P17's trajectory was roughly in line with where we were coming to pinpoint the not-radio-but-radio signal - directly into, and consequently from, the heart of the Carina Arm³ of the galaxy! "You're saying this is an answer!?" That manic grin only grew. God he loved this woman.

He looked out the window at the terraformed Martian landscape. Mars was obviously the first human colony, as finding habitable areas in the solar system was difficult, due mostly to the vast amounts of radiation that the larger gas giants emitted - which consequently made Jupiter's moons entirely unhabitable, however Enceladus⁵ had fortunately been discovered to have a rich, thick atmosphere that shielded Saturn's radiation to levels even lower than Earth's. It was now a popular vacation spot, though Saturn's gravitational pull provides its own complications, it wasn't enough to deter humankind in their ever-advancing thirst for colonization and discovery.

Mars didn't really have the proper atmosphere or geothermal conditions, but it was the closest habitable area - other than Luna, of course, but creating a habitable atmosphere there is still not in the reach of humankind, it's basically just a large asteroid, though scientists will argue that it is nothing like a large asteroid, it's basically just a large asteroid when it comes to terraforming. So humankind had made due on Mars - advances made over the next few centuries will slowly transform the atmosphere to be habitable (consequently botanists are in high demand and require a doctorate degree), but for now the greenhouse-like bubbles surrounding each colony worked pretty well. Sandstorms weren't powerful enough to even dent the hard plastics used. The streets were always covered in red dust, though, and the grass had taken on a strange, almost bluish tint from the minerals in the ground, but Marcus hadn't regretted coming here to work on the SET program. Well, especially now.

We aren't alone. Marcus grabbed his wife's hand, and stood. "Everybody, I'd like your attention please!"

Marcus and Jenny were given lead over the project. Their office was given full access to all 17 Hubble telescopes by the upper NASA brass back on Earth, and three years later they finally saw it - well not so much saw it as saw the swath of FTL current it was creating. Viewing something at faster-than-light travel was obviously impossible, but you could calculate the speed and weight of the object based on the current it created ahead of it as it warps space-time, and it was generating a very large current. It was on a direct course to collide with Earth - which made sense, seeing how NASA's predecessors had given them instructions to Earth and not any of the other terraformed colonies spanning their small pocket of space. The probe was several times larger than any probe NASA had sent, though exact measurements were, at this point, impossible, but it was cruising at speeds far surpassing the Earth's own technology. It made sense to make it larger - NASA had sent over 300 probes at random, aiming to cover as much of the galaxy as possible, so resources had to be stretched thin. This civilization only needed to send one - might as well pack it to the brim!

Marcus was excited to tinker with it, but it was still 5 years away, if estimates held true. As the probe got closer, they realized it was emitting a signal in Morse Code, of all things - an all but dead way of communication nowadays, but luckily still referenced enough that it lived on in literature.

.--. .-. . .--. .- .-. . - --- -.-. .- - -.-. .... .-.-.-

"P R E P A R E T O C A T C H"

Repeated in several languages.

NASA and several other human space programs got to work.

Meticulous math for a full year and a half, charting the trajectory, speed, and friction required to slow the vessel down enough to intercept it. Then that math went out the window 3 months later, as the probe began sending a new message:

.--. .-. . .--. .- .-. . - --- -.-. .- - -.-. .... .- - .- .--. .--. .-. --- -..- .. -- .- - . .-.. -.-- --- -. . --.- ..- .- .-. - . .-. .-.. .. --. .... - ... .--. . . -.. .-.-.-

"Prepare to catch at approximately one quarter light speed."

It was then that Jenny hypothesized that the probe itself was not sending the message - the alien civilization had changed their message, first of all, and secondly, how could the probe itself transmit a signal more quickly than FTL travel? Her theory was that they had some sort of transmission technology that allowed them to bend space-time for near-instantaneous transmission across almost any distance. Imagine! If it were true, then that meant they were monitoring the probe's progress on their end as well, and communicating live right now!

The more mundane meaning was that clearly the probe was equipped with some form of breaking to slow it down before it reached their solar system.

New math superseded the old math, a light-based polymer designed by Marcus to slow the probe's trajectory without destroying itself was constructed and placed in the probe's path through their solar system, placed as far as the outer reaches of the Kuiper Belt⁶. It would take roughly one week from the time it hit the breakers in the outer Kuiper Belt to reach Earth.

More math, more construction, and careful consideration. Gravitational fields to discourage the Kuiper objects from traversing into the path. Structural "nets" near the Earth to slow the descent dramatically, and a large basin to collect the probe in without damaging it. All of it extremely technical, and to most everyone except Jenny and Marcus, extremely boring. To Jenny and Marcus, though, and many of their colleagues, everything involved with the project was exciting. With weeks to spare, preparations were completed, and all there was to do now was wait. And rest.

And for Jenny and Marcus, wild, passionate, nerdy love-making. Especially that. That was awesome.

Note: Conclusion in comments.