You know, someone to share those dark and filthy memes that are just too much for your IRL friends and colleagues.

Someone who you can just outright tell how horny and frustrated you are, and who will be happy to lend a hand.

Someone who won't judge you (much 😜) about that kink you're into.

Just someone that'll make me smile when I open my phone and see they've replied. It would be great to make a real connection and get to know someone; and if you're the type that enjoys sharing some naughty pics, then I'd love to see you. If not, then I'd appreciate a little something just to verify and have an idea who I'm chatting with; but I won't ask or push for some.

So about me. I'm 38, happily married with three kds and I live in the UK. I work as a software tester, mainly from home; so 3 days a week I have loads of "free" time to chat. I also do some private maths & physics tuition on the side, which I really love. I enjoy reading - mostly scifi & fantasy; big favourites include Hitch-Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy, Michael Crichton (Jurassic Park, Prey, Timeline...), Terry Pratchett (Thief of Time, Snuff, Going Postal), John Wyndham (Day of the Triffids, The Chrysalids), The Hobbit, Evergence. I also play quite a lot of board games; Root, Kingsburg, Ticket to Ride, Quacks of Quedlinburg... And I'm a bit of a tech geek too: my home server here has over 30TB of storage, over 10TB of which is TV shows 😁

Oh, and I also love to write and share my smutty short stories.

About you; well, I don't mind really - I want to find out as we chat. Be up for a laugh and some flirting, and interested in having a good conversation. Speak English, but it doesnt need to be perfect; im happy to be some practise for you, and if you're a Dutch speaker then maybe you can help me learn too (950 day streak on Duolingo so far). Just be genuinely you.

There are some nos too. If you're a real hardline conservative, or otherwise quite right wing then we just aren't going to get along. Woke is not a pejorative, trans women are women, black lives matter, and Israel and Hammas are both committing war crimes against innocent civilians. Similarly if you're suffering from anti-science delusions, then we also aren't going to connect either. The earth is round (ish), we landed on the moon, vaccines work and don't cause autism, covid is real and still a genuine problem.

I've made some amazing connections in the past, some have come and gone, and some I'm still in touch with. I really hope to find some new friends.