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It was my first time with any kind of psychedelic. Me and a friend took a couple of tabs (100ug) while on vacation, but while he took it all at once, I cut it into three to see if I could handle it. I took 66ug and ended up accidentally spitting out the last piece after having it in my mouth a while, so I'm not sure if I got the full possible effect.
The experience was amazing at first, but I think I did the mistake of going out to the beach alone with my friend with no babysitter. We got a call from our friends and started getting convinced that they thought we were a lot worse off than we actually were, and that they were going to call an ambulance (they weren't worried). And there was when it started slowly getting bad. I didn't even notice the transition, I was happy on one moment, and the next, my friend was telling me about how the world will not understand us and how I had to "make a choice now or lose it". And in a way almost identical to Bandersnatch, I interpreted as "staying in this world or transcending through suicide". I got scared right there and told him that we should head home.
And from there on it was extremely stressful. I became convinced that there was something beyond this world, that I needed to exit "the game" and find it, but that I didn't want to and I wanted to stay here with my girlfriend, waiting for me back at home. Everything from there on was telling me to kill myself. The worst one was when a friend of mine put on Rango, hoping it would calm me down, but it immediately started with an armadillo dying while saying "I must get to the other side". Of course, I didn't take that well then.
Aside from all that, I lost my sense of free will. Everything I did felt like an eternity, and I felt like I wasn't actually making my own choices, instead, that everything I was doing was scripted, and my "decisions" were just me trying to explain why would I do something like that. I felt like in the split second I usually would take to make a decision, I already started taking action and THEN I would think of why was I doing it.
All things considered, I don't regret it. It was an amazing experience. But I'm scared of doing something like this in the future, considering that I didn't even take the full 100ug and half of the trip was some of the most stressful things I've ever experienced. Any tips?
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- 4 years ago
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