For context, this happened almost 3 years ago now. I was in a bad place in my life, doing your standard softcore druggie shit. I invited an ex acquaintance over and they brought a friend over. This “friend” had a bag with probably every drug under the sun in it. We all smoked and drank a little bit, and I was already drunk when they got there; so I was pretty faded. Cut to an hour later, my ex acquaintance said he had to leave to make some deals, and specifically told their friend to not do anything to me.

I’ll cut to the chase- they fed me 13 tabs of acid. Absolutely insane visuals- Seeing fractals everywhere and the deconstruction of the universe almost allowed me to see in what felt like 4D, color spirals, fully body hallucinations, thw works. This person would talk about random things like going to a beach in a private jet, and boom in my eyes sight that’s what we were doing. A lot of things happened during that trip, one which I don’t want to talk ablut, but a lot of good came too.

In my hallucinations I had one final talk with my father, who was a horrible person to me. I still love him, but he hurt me psychologically in ways I can’t begin to describe here. But we “talked” for hours. I saw visions of my past lives, some which were extremely traumatic, due to war. I saw the birth and death cycle of my own soul quite a few times before everything quite literally shattered around me, leaving me feeling with this swelling pit in my stomach.

I sometimes feel like I never came out of the trip, my brain by no means functions the same way it used to, and I feel so different. I know when I’m sober I’m alert, but sometimes I just get flashbacks that remind me it’s never over, and my eyes start playing tricks on me again.

I really hope this doesn’t make me sound crazy, and if it does, what help if there is any would you recommend? I have brought my life together a lot since then, but it all just feels so off.