First of all, my English is not fluent.

In conclusion, it was a good trip, but I regretted my actions many times during the peak. Each regret made me imagine the infinite regret I would experience from now on, and it was also a test. I never thought that such a mathematical concept, that infinity exists within the finite and infinity can converge to the finite, would attack me with its fangs. I say attack, but in fact, it might be more accurate to say that I was swallowed up because I experienced the death of the ego many times. (That's probably a question of aesthetic sense in writing lol)

The physical harvest was that I felt that training my physical senses was very useful in reaching P N S E. In fact, I started swimming three months before this trip and focused on my physical senses. To be more specific, I lived my life with an awareness of symmetry and center.

They make a lot of sense, and I feel this even more strongly now that I've returned from the trip.

The spiritual harvest was that I was able to experience the definition of enlightenment in Brahmanism (understanding that Brahman and Atman are the same). I am writing this experience for myself. And it is quite long. Because I believe that complex things can only be understood if they remain complex. Kind and wise people, please look on with kind eyes.

First of all, what is the universe? Does it mean the space outside the Earth? No, it is not. Right now, here is the universe. What would bacteria and viruses think if they saw a human body? They would think it was a huge lump of food. If we think about this from a human perspective, there are planets made of diamonds (apparently called 55 Cancri e) and stars that explode with energy like the sun in the universe outside the Earth. These existences seem strange. But the Earth is even stranger. However, the laws that govern them are very simple, and the stars are the result, and we can only say that they became that way passively. Matter entrusts its fate to the laws of this universe. Because the Earth is too complex, humans seek that complexity outside the Earth as well. That is why the stars in the universe that are simply huge and composed of a single matter, gas, and energy seem alien to us. Black holes are a source of fear (for me). But what exists is a simple law, or should I say force (the four interactions of physics). That's all. The wise people of today who are watching this will understand what I mean. Yes, behind all life, including humans, there is the same universal law, and it feels like it governs all life as well.

And now we come to the main point. Does this simple law determine our fate? The answer is yes and no. What if you let yourself go by gravity? You would either starve to death in bed, or go somewhere deep, deep in the ocean. Yes, I understand what you're saying. Regardless of whether or not there is a law governing it, life will eventually die. But can you equate death in bed (like the popular doomer) with death after getting up from bed and continuing life activities?

I can't, or rather, there was a time when I thought so, but now it's different.

Is your consciousness governed by the laws of physics? We, as living beings, are half resistant to the laws of the universe (which is why our consciousness feels qualia, or weight), and we can freely move the matter that constitutes us. The birth of life was a great breakthrough for the universe. As long as life continues, it will escape from the control of this law and gain a certain degree of freedom. It is the consciousness in life that makes this possible.

(I will solve the question that arose here myself. I do not know if insects have consciousness, but I think that the fact that life evolved beyond insects was the first step in the necessary steps to acquire consciousness. I feel that the history of life followed an order in which life came first, and then consciousness arose.)

Going back to the experience, many times during the peak I let go of my ego, or after fear, I made up my mind to jump into the universe that is myself. And my consciousness was completely reduced to my body. My consciousness became infinitely smaller, and I reached the particles that make up me. And moving my hand was the same as the movement of a huge nebula, planet, or galaxy from the perspective of a small particle, and the time it took to move my hand, which was less than a second, was stretched out to an unimaginably long time. (Just as our lives are just a moment when considered on the timeline of the universe.) Some may dismiss this phenomenon as a mystical experience, but in the implications of black holes in physics, we can find a theory that is similar to this strange experience.

(This is the explanation of the theory. We are bound by the constraints of time (this is the common knowledge that time flows in only one direction, and the flow of time is completely governed in normal consciousness. This commonly felt nature of time is statistical, as Professor Yasunori Nomura, a doctor of science, said, but I will avoid mentioning it here), it's gotten too long lol, I'll say it again, in exchange for being bound by the constraints of time, the freedom of space is guaranteed, this law is known throughout the universe. With the only exception being black holes. In black holes,

time and space are reversed. This is not an anime story. The formulas of the general theory of relativity support this. Yes, yes, this fact can only be confirmed in formulas, but in black holes, terms related to time take the same form as terms related to space. It will be difficult to understand with algebraic thinking. Imagine, you are falling into a black hole, you cannot move, and you can only move in one direction towards the center of the black hole along with the surrounding space. This movement is compulsory. This is the constraint of space. Yes, you may have heard what happens to a person who falls into a black hole, and they appear to stop on the surface, forever. That is true, but objective facts and subjective facts often do not match. You can vividly feel the time you fall into the black hole, and that sensation is no different from that in real life, said Professor Toshifumi Nimase, PhD, who is a doctor of science. (Yes, I am an uneducated seeker who will take a free ride on that opinion.) You are given the freedom of time inside the black hole. I would like to say that the concepts of time and time seem similar but are completely different. A wise person who has never resented time is not a wise person lol. If you do not understand, there is no shame in that. True understanding is an experience. In summary, this is the reversal of the constraints of time and space, and I believe that my mystical experience is a phenomenon that can be reproduced in this universe.)

Going back to the point, I was swallowed up by the substance that is me and given the freedom of time. I felt that the space was infinite, but I could only feel it. In other words, there is space but there is no freedom. I repeated instant reincarnation several times in this, and realized that I was only trapped in the infinity (or perhaps the universe) in my body, and that I would not be me if I did not try to be me. I strongly felt that this body that feels infinite can converge into one consciousness called me, and that this is the role of consciousness (me). In fact, I knew that infinity can converge into finiteness, so perhaps this thought arose. The emotion behind this thought was like fear, but also like obligation. Thus, my consciousness took control of my body again, and when I looked at the clock, only a minute or two had passed. This was repeated for two hours, and eventually the peak was over. I was proud of myself for having returned safely from this great voyage. Still, the intense trip continued, but the feeling of returning home must have given me a sense of relief. I went back and forth between the infinite and finite worlds, enjoying it.

Was I fascinated by the Brahmanist definition of liberation, which states that the universe, Brahman, and the ego/individual, Atman, are one and the same?

And, oh, I confess, my English is insufficient and difficult to read. But I was dying to write down my experiences and thoughts from yesterday somewhere. But I finished writing. When I read it again, it feels like the ramblings of a schizophrenic lol

But I'm back to my normal life and behaving normally. The only difference is that I try to always keep the awareness that I am me.

The music and other people's voices that were ringing in my head, the so-called earworms, have disappeared. Today, the earworms suddenly returned while swimming, sauna, and eating. But I was able to erase them by keeping a strong awareness of me. (It takes about 5 seconds).

I think this harvest is the most important change for me, and I am grateful for this change. Is this what P N S E is like?

If anyone has received special training, please let me know.

For now, good luck to the Japanese people lol

Dosukoi!