Found this in my notes and I love reading about your days!!

Pre trip: are a gyro and a bunch of Oreos, well hydrated. Went rock climbing but felt discouraged. Dropped a single tab that has been sitting in my dresser for about 2 years. Went to the pool and layed in the sun for 45 minutes. Began feelings of well-being and more creative thoughts. Sharpness and saturation of vision increase slightly. Attention more willing whether focused or gazing. Bolstering feeling in body of come up, feels like my whole body is sobbing. Same ache as a cathartic cry. Feeling hard to catch my breath, like I’m running. Everything is ok and feeling good. 1 hour past drop No pupil dilation but mentally stimulated. Took dogs outside to run with ball. Feel energetic and light. Take a long walk outdoors enjoying breathing. Thoughts of compassion and gratitude. Unpacking negativity about body, posture, expression, and who I think I am supposed to be. Feeling trusting and overall very patient and relaxed. Listening to outside sounds and talking to my dogs like they understand me. Enjoying the air on my skin and the amphitheater of clouds. Two weather fronts conveniently converge over the golf course fairway, could son both sides and a strip of sky up the middle. Beautiful, sun is setting. Go inside to chug room temperature water, feels like I can’t get enough. Let dogs eat, shower. Sun is still out so we go back outside, this time with music. Pink Floyd. Only the right earbud. Would have been better with both. Take a long walk exploring and sniffing, feelings of well-being but no intense visuals. Get home about 20 minutes after dark, shower second time. Feels good to wash and touch my face. Hyper aware of skin and eyes. Eyes and cheeks feel smooth and flat. Light candles and perfect inside setting, dance and embody home for about an hour. Light cleaning/laundry. Put on moving art Netflix show and listening to music. Vaped weed. I opened my eyes a tiny bit wider and cracked something open. Fractal visuals, mandala, music distortion, could see acid overlay on vision. Got really excited and sunk into it for a minute, then scared myself into thinking doing acid is the reason for my visual snow, floaters, lack of eyesight in general. Haunting feeling of my eye lens being distorted, pupils over dilated and felt like my brain was falling out of my head through my eyes. Be gentle with body and ride the wave. Don’t start picking/scratching. Started brushing my hair. Puppy crawled in my lap to get brushed, very exciting. We need to take action and show those around us how to live the way we want. Got a little too emotional/excited to brush the puppy. They decided to play ball instead. Visually everything is fine. Mentally having a deep self care moment trying ti carefully brush each strand of hair multiple times and flip and place it where it needs to go. Sign of impatience and lack of effort. Notice time and decide boyfriend will be coming home within an hour, begin to clean kitchen. Deep clean kitchen. He comes home, on to clean bathroom. Finally willing to see the dirt that has been piling up, scrub brush everything. Take third shower. Cold rotisserie chicken, blueberries and grapes for dinner. Not feeling tired but relaxing into being in the space with boyfriend and dogs. Watch some golf, vape again. Brush teeth and lay in bed. Want to cuddle so I crawl to his side of the bed, he doesn’t want to be touched while sleeping. Lay awake for a long time. Put on eye mask to sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night to drink water. Lips and skin on face feel smooth today. This trip did not cure me. All your problems are still there when you come home from staycation. If you’re bored find something to do. If you’re lonely find someone to talk to. If you feel like you need to, get up and move.

I want to do it again but I don’t want to be afraid.