After almost all of the people who had reached out to me, suggesting me to try talking to him, I decided that I will not put effort into initiating a conversation. Might sound counterproductive, but it's the best for me. I have a few reasons.

A) He's intimidating to talk to and mostly unavailable inside the gym cause he trains like a beast. We don't usually share machines or the locker room. It's difficult to try and strike up a convo with him.

B) I actually feel he's probably a conventional homophobic straight guy. He has problematic friends. Not nice. I can't see him being any different than they are. Not ideal. I can't help but see him in the same light.

This might be very prejudiced and defensive of me, but why not? I don't wish to get hurt. Literally the only interaction we have at the gym is when we happen to look at each other directly. I'm gonna see him tomorrow again and my heart melts every time I see him for the past five months.

I wish things were different. But they're not, so I need to protect myself...