Hello friends please help me by giving advice on what to do ? I am a trans women. I know it from my childhood and I came out to my parents when I was a kid, but they were against me and tried to put me in conversion therapy. They are also very religious. So all of it made me question myself and from that time I stopped expressing myself and tried my maximum to live as a ideal boy whom my parents love. But nothing worked.......Day by day my mental health got worse and I started losing intrest in everything. Especially in studies. So I decided to leave home after 12th but my parents forced me to study here and took admission in a ba degree programme which I don't like. Now I am stuck in life, I don't know what to do. I really hate going to college especially sitting with boys ,they make some weird and creepy comments about girls and people in our community I hate it. I tried my maximum to quit this course and to leave from home but my parents forced me to study here but I kept shouting at them and one day they said I can leave home once I complete this course. This is my last year I don't know how I survived two years here plus day by day I am getting more masculine. I started hrt by myself last year but things are getting out of control, due to some personal issues I can't work part time now so continuing hrt is in doubt. I really don't know what to do. After completing this degree I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I want to complete my transition as soon as possible and I need a good job. But to complete my transition I need money and to get a job I need to study further, the problem is I have some backlogs and it will take one more year to clear it. So I need to wait one more year to pass these exams otherwise I can't study further. If I choose to study further how can I continue my treatments?
If I don't study further and decided to look for a job, where to search. Who will give jobs to an uneducated queer person? I don't have much friends to ask all these things. Please help me. So what I think the best is to leave my home after this course and to look for a job only for one year. In that time I will clear my exams and apply for higher studies. So I can work for one year and will get some money to do my treatments. So where to go ? If I move to Bangalore can I find a decent job ? I am ok with any job. Hrt is not that expensive I need only 2000 rupees for a month. But other treatments like laser hair removal and surgeries are expensive. Anyway please share your advices. One person asked me to quit this and to take admission in bca they are saying that IT field is inclusive and I will get a decent job. But next year I will turn 21. So joining a ug programme at that age is worth it or not ? Plus I am not financially independent to afford it. So what to do friends ? And one more question is how you avoid using washrooms, I hate using washrooms in college. Plus suggest some tips about focusing on studies. I really can't focus on my studies. Don't know how all of you guys are studying I just can't focus on studies, I feel exhausted and remember some old things happened in my life 🥺.