I don’t really know how to start this conversation but the love of my life is Muslim. I am a gay man as well as him. We started dating in high school and we are now 26. He recently broke up with me because he was thinking about his faith and religion and family. However, it’s been hard. I can tell he still loves me and wants the relationship and it kills me to know that one day he may get married with someone else is who is not me, I don’t know how to feel or who to talk to and I feel defeated.

I know what he’s doing and I know why he’s doing it, and he’s a great man. Me and him have been through a lot together more than anyone else. Before anyone asks it’s not a lustful relationship, there’s genuine love and care between us and we’ve showed that time and time again.

I’ve been question life a lot and not really being able to wrap my brain around the fact that, I’ll be lonely for the rest of my life because I don’t want anyone but him and it feels almost unfair and I get angry and then I have long sad nights.

I didn’t know groups like this exist and I don’t know who to talk to, I just feel immense sadness in my heart. I even told him that I love him to the point that I would have a relationship with him with no kissing or sex etc… that’s how much I love him.

I don’t know if anyone is gonna read this but this has been the hardest thing I’ve faced in life and I don’t know how to handle it.